Next Chapter?

For the past couple of weeks I've been thinking about what it is that I want to do with my life next. What will my next chapter be? I've kind of always felt like I missed out on something by not going to college, but then again, I did try it for a few weeks (hardly the best shot) and I didn't feel like it was 'for me'. Although, that was right after I had graduated high school and maybe I just needed a break from school. Would I like it better now? I think I would be excited for the first couple of weeks but as soon as I had to write a research paper or got lost in math class I would go right back to feeling like it was something I didn't actually want to do and...why spend money on college if I'm not going to stick with it? I also have my son to consider. If I did go back to school, I'd like to go to an actual classroom rather than doing it online and that would definitely not be easy with a baby. It also wouldn't be fair for my husband to have to work all day and then come home and take care of our son while I went to school.
Another option is going back to work. Even though I don't have a degree, I was fortunate enough to get a lot of experience in a great field of work and could easily go back to that, or get another really good job. But again, I have my son to consider. I want to be at home with him to watch him grow and change and learn every day. I don't want to miss out on any of that. All too soon he's going to be going off to school and I won't have the option of getting to spend all day with him.
I don't want to be misconstrued. I do not in any way feel that my son is holding me back from anything. He and my husband are my whole world. They are most important things in my life (aside from God) and they come first and foremost, however, sometimes I like to think about what my options are and how I could better myself and that is where school and work come in. But what about other options? What about something I've never tried or have dreamed of trying but have always been too intimidated to actually pursue? I used to write songs on a daily basis, sometimes even multiple times a day and dreamed of being a professional lyricist. I haven't written a song in over a year but if I did, would that passion come back or would it feel flat and uninspired? I've also thought about how fun it would be to write a novel. I remember trying to start one a very long time ago (probably in junior high) and how when I came to the dialogue I had no idea where to even begin. If I attempted to write again would I be able to come up with the dialogue and produce a worth while story? I guess I'll never know until I try. For the first time in my life I think I'm feeling a real sense of fear of ...failing. I guess the good part is, if I try something and do well, I will have a ton of support, and if I do fail, no one has to know. Maybe I should take a risk and go for the novel...We shall see!